bags for your burner phone

vintage metal shells, beaded evening bags and structured satin for occasion dressing season (or every day if it suits you)

The other afternoon, I watched a tattooed salesperson justify the use case of a teeny tiny box bag to a friend. Her new iphone was too big to fit inside it.

“You need a burner phone,” he told her.

As neither CIA operatives nor much more than moms in fashion with little to hide, we were intrigued. And as he went on to describe its advantages, I began to realize that the burner phone may be a technological relic, but it’s a modern-day luxury: a purveyor of forced boundaries, intimacy and yes, fashion (stick with me on this one!).

There’s no email on a burner phone, no camera or Instagram or Whats App groups that you definitely did not join out of free will. A burner phone has its own phone number, one that you can give out or not give out at your will.

When I was working fashion week in my 20s, bundled up and dashing around town in the bitter chill of February, we often spoke of the ultimate flex: showing up to a fashion party with no coat and strappy shoes. This was before Uber, and this outfit meant that you had a driver who was idly waiting around the corner at your whim to scoop you up into toasty, leather seats and take you to the next engagement. A burner phone is the modern day equivalent. It’s a power move, a signal to the world that you set your own pace.

Dinner out with a burner phone demands presence. There’s nowhere to retreat into if conversation wanes, or if your inner anxieties start to peek through. It’s the in-between moments that breed intimacy – mornings with a new crush, beyond the flattering amber light of a thought-out restaurant choice, an hour-long drive to an event with a friend after you’ve just gotten in a spat with your husband, a quiet lull at dinner that leads into what’s been weighing on your companion’s mind.

In my burner phone, I’d keep my contacts necessary, joy inducing and limited: my parents, my nanny, my vintage Hermès dealer and a sprinkling of great friends whom I don’t get to talk to often.

And aesthetically the burner phone opens up a new category of fashion: stunning, impractical bags too small to fit much else besides a Dries lip balm (my favorite gift to give and to get).

The holy grail: A metal bag with vintage vibes, bonus if it’s mollusk themed

La Regale Clamshell Bag - for nights at the opera, a necessary indulgence for our girl in Stockholm

YSL Opium Bag - make this 1980s vintage moment your homage to Studio 54, where YSL’s Opium perfume was the club’s de facto scent. Wear it with this perfect Row silk jacket that is 50% off right now (sadly only in a S or XL, but someone get it! It’s so good.)

Rabanne 1969 Ball Bag - yes, you’ve seen this material before, but she’s cooler in this ball shape.

Gucci Shell 1980s Bag - a glitzy little cross body for nights that need an extra dose of sheen. I’d wear this with my favorite Toteme blazer so it peeks out slightly underneath, a little wink of the fun to come.

A sophisticate walks into a bar: classics to keep around and pass down

Khaite Burgandy Pouchette - this one comes in a plethora of colors, but I can make a case for (almost) every one. It’s the slight distressed stitching that does it for me.

Celine Box Bag - she’s cute! This gets a spot in my future 70 yr old self’s fantasy closet

Pony Hair Foldover Clutch - a gorgeous piece of Gucci by Tom Ford; sleek, elegant, everything it should be with a perfect gold hardware edge.

Burner in theory, iphone in reality, but you still want the vibe: where form meets function

(I’m using the 6 in” x 3” iPhone 13 for this exercise. If you have a bigger phone, I must ask… why?)

Saint Laurent Mini Leather Shoulder Bag - the S/S 25 Saint Laurent show made me swoon (the structure! the power!). This little bag has a “stolen from my mother’s closet” vibe, and it’s a pretty great price.

Beaded Dries Extravaganza - I first spotted this beading on the Dries jacket from the same collection at Maxfield’s and it’s to die for: intricate, layered and crafted by artisans in India. As a jacket, though beautiful, it’s a bit more specific (and expensive) but I really, really adore it in a clutch. Yes, of course, this is a cocktail party stunner, but I’d also wear it with my favorite barrel jeans and a classic cashmere jacket (like this TWP one in soft gray or this robe coat on sale).

There’s something intriguing about a woman who pairs a formal clutch with easy separates. It makes you guess where she’s going. In this world, a little mystery is a good thing (and another relic of its time, just like the burner).

I also spotted this gold Dries bag at Emily Holt’s excellent Hero Shop this week. I’d was drawn to it online but was unsure if the fabric would feel tacky in person. It’s the opposite and made even more fabulous by the brown resin top handle. It’s also from the last collection that Dries did himself before stepping down, which as a forever Dries girl, feels like a collector’s item.

Oyster Shell Clutch - love an oversized silver moment for any season. Love shells. And so does Chloe’s Chemena Kamali, whom the fashion industry currently feels can do no wrong.

Gabriela Hearst Satin Evening Bag - Gabriela Hearst is unparalleled with her commitment to sustainability, though yes, you can argue that all fashion is consumption. But, from working in the industry for so long, I know its expensive for a brand to make things in the way that she does (the brand certainly takes hits to margin and profitability to uphold her values - a wonderful, rare thing that we should support with our wallets). It helps that her clothes are stunning. The structure of this Italian-made satin clutch is gorgeous (I hate when something gets floppy with use), and I can see this being my constant companion to holiday parties.

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