eight to desire: cravings of bordeaux, kimono pillows, buttery soft loafers, vintage printed coats

and how this all fits into a shopping doctrine

moody purples on my fall/winter wish list

I’m not good at metabolizing my stress. I’ve always admired women who maintain a measured distance from the tumult of every day life, unaffected by shifts both small and seismic. My mother is one of these rare strains of human. She’s in the world, but not fully immersed, governed by an internal steadiness instead.

In my 20s, stress dissipated through wine and work friends; the communal, gleeful grit of living in New York City; and an unwavering belief that a hamster wheel of long grinds at the office and glamorous cocktail parties would yield a fruitful life.

Now in my (very) late 30s, the nights are much earlier, the wine stalls at a glass or two (lest it messes with our sleep) and yet, I’ve traded one vice for another. Nearly every night, at 8:20 pm, daughter coerced into sleep, a red light mask securely on my face, I’m scrolling through a rotation of MyTheresa, Moda, TRR, Vestaire, goop, NAP, and then down a rabbit hole of Broyt, The Oblist, 1st Dibs (more of my favorite home decor sites here).

I love the hunt, perhaps even more than the item itself (sometimes). The thrill of a lime green satin mule, so utterly impractical (and yes, also uncomfortable but no pain, no gain?). An iron garden bench from the 1930s. A perfect Courreges black jacket (on sale!). And that’s in the last month (oops).

I justify my consumption habit by ensuring each purchase fits into my shopping doctrine: a (loose) set of principles that govern your consumption decisions. Mine is admittedly too loose, and allows for a good amount of leeway, perhaps by design, but it boils down to one principle: I believe in buying special things, and not much else.

My Shopping Doctrine

1. Rarities - Unique, usually vintage, pieces that might be hard to find again. A classic, wear forever item on sale. I sometimes envision myself as a 70 year old woman - for some reason, that is the age where I think I will reach maximum chicness - and visualize my wardrobe. If I can see it in that closet, which coincidentally is much larger than my current one (and it also might be in a chateau in France? Unclear), then I consider it a worthy investment.

2. Legendary or Discovery Brands, rarely anything in between - I don’t love a visible label, but I’ll admit, I love a hidden one. Shopping, at its best, is collecting, and I’d rather have one heart skipping item than ten nice-ish ones. I tend to buy a few designer pieces each season, a good amount of vintage and I’ll invest in current, meaningful brands that I think are doing something worthwhile (I wrote about some I love here). You’ll never see me at a Zara (even though they have cute stuff!). I refuse to buy something just because “I’ll wear it.”

3. The Ones that Got Away - This can be a particular piece I missed out on (if you can handle the temptation, this will do it), a jacket I always loved on someone else or an item reminiscent of a cultural moment. If I ever stumble upon a version of this dress that Audrey Hepburn wore in the ball scene in Sabrina, I will gleefully give away all of my money to own it.

And with those guiding principles in mind, here’s what I’m wearing and craving for fall/winter:

1. Vintage Printed Jackets - This is my weakness: in cropped silk, oversized jacquard, thick ivory wool or a colorful Oscar de la Renta for your most ladylike persona.

   The genuis thing about a printed vintage jacket is its versatility. I’ve paired this vintage YSL jacket (I bought it for $600 at a vintage show) with everything from a bright yellow Jacquemas cocktail dress (the dress was from the 2018 Runway and is sort of impossible to find, but here is one on Vestaire Collective for less than $400! It’s a horrible photo but gorgeous in person) to my favorite barrel jeans. If you’re going denim, pick a light wash or loose silhouette - the casualness of relaxed denim with the glamour of a statement jacket is what makes the look cool.

   Some ideas: this cropped one is gorgeous, and this is so fun. And this raincoat!! This bohemian rose printed jacket is also a lovely pared down version if you want to take the direction into a more casual place.

2. Attersee Cashmere T-Shirts - I think of these shirts as every day luxury. I assume this is how the coquettish feel when secretly wearing lingerie, a little wink of mystery. Paper thin cashmere, soft on the skin yet holding snug on the body, giving layering genius. I own this t-shirt in cream and navy. The very pretty taupe or classic black may be next.

3. Bordeaux Loafers -

   Megan Alida Strachan
   from Dorsey first introduced me to Jamie Haller loafers, and I have been living in my black ones - a surprising twist for someone who does not veer preppy. Bordeaux lives in the family of non-neutral neutrals (so does olive green, chocolatey brown and midnight blue) that provide a subtle upkick to any outfit. These are stunning too. And can we just have a moment for this jacket , together?

4. Winter Whites - This effortless cotton number for a long afternoon luncheon at Le Toiny. This in St. Moritz, a fur draped easily over the shoulders. This, waving from a Juliet balcony, cigarette in hand, perhaps with that Christopher Esber Blue Minette Crystal Flat I’ve been eyeing.

5. TWP Funky Striped Shirt - I’ve spoken about my love for TWP’s utterly perfect boxy white cotton cropped shirt but this striped version might be a new contender for my wardrobe workhouse. I recently saw Maria McManus at a dinner wearing her version with her stretchy sheer skirt that I’ve been eyeing, which echoed the styling at Carven: the ephemeral paired with the traditionalist. This sheer skirt of hers is lovely too, a bit more formal and feminine.

6. Structured Raffia Bags, big and small - There’s something counterintuitive, and thus alluring, about raffia in a formal setting. This perfect iteration has become my new every day tote; big enough for a computer and more, light to lug around, and structured enough to feel refined, augmented by the leather trim and silver hardware. I bought this little Celine one over the summer in Cannes, and she became my constant companion for nights out. And if you’re looking for something a little more wallet friendly, this looks cute.

7. Martini Olive Green, everything - Kallmeyer is another smallish brand that I think deserves its due, and these Wool Gazar Pants are on the top of my wishlist. As is this canvas clutch with gorgeous burgundy piping, and this Blue Green Works floor lamp. Someone also sent me these, which have gotten compliments from even the chic shop girls at Toteme in the Palisades. And to live in this brushed olive cashmere from Lisa Yang!

8. Kimono Pillows - I’ve been lusting after this sold out kimono pillow from CH Herrero for months (also someone please buy this shell fountain because I cannot), which led me down a path to pillows made from Chinese art deco rugs (another obsession of mine. Look at this one. And this one!). This pillow feels very Nicky Kehoe. If you’re looking to add a collected feel to your home, I also love the Via Venezia fabric pillows and the floral pillows from Studio Maison Nurita.