in other lives: fantasy worlds of the people we could have been
This week, moodboarding the life of "our girl in Stockholm", an elegant divorcee in her delightful second act
Just like a gorgeous new cashmere coat, stepping into a new city means possibility; of a new flavor pairing, an invitation to a raucous dinner party in an eccentric, well-appointed loft, an inspiration that lingers with you until it becomes a brilliant, executable idea…
(There is the other side of a new city. Where you milk your connections to get into a gorgeous restaurant (ahem, Pujol) and find the place filled with New Yorkers talking about Dalton applications.)
It’s a dangerous liaison into who you could have been… if you’d simply been a little more daring, more international, had slipped in with a different crowd.
Within hours of arriving in somewhere new, I typically find myself exclaiming to my companion: “Should we move here?!”. Dipping further into fantasy, I’ll somehow end up on Zillow (Or Beinici or Sothebys) painstakingly weighing the choices. If I renounced LA for Montecito, would I be the kind of woman who settles into an ivy-covered writer’s cottage, barely 1200 square feet, or a mediterranean oasis with views of the water? In Milan, would I find a picture of rationalist architecture, with wood paneled walls a la Villa Necchi? And back in New York, the essential dilemma awaits: would it be a converted Tribeca loft in a doorman building, with gorgeous, oversized cast iron windows in Neo-Greco style or a tall, skinny brownstone, with all the nooks and crannies?
This past summer, I visited Stockholm for the first time, during the rare months when the weather was a dreamy 75. “If there’s any way to get into Ett Hem, do it,” said a friend who grew up outside of the city. They magically had one room left, not a hotel room actually, but a long stay apartment in their residences, a small adjacent townhouse building with its own entrance that is apparently occupied by “friends of Ett Hem.” It’s unclear who these friends are (apparently legendary Swedish producer Max Martin is one), but I imagine they live wildly layered, magical lives.
Ett Hem is a Swedish aesthetic utopia, with everything a soft gray and patina’d brass, the rooms filled with rare, obscure books and vintage lighting. The next morning, they made me the best omelet of my life, with herbed olive oil swirling around the fluffed edges.
I still think about that week, and so, this brings us a new exercise, charting the visual references of the life of an elegant divorcee in Stockholm.
In her closet
Our girl in Stockholm eschews trends. She shops infrequently but loves clothes, favoring a loose silhouette and sumptuous textures. Her clothes are the backdrop for a rich inner life; a second act that focuses not on her children (at college) or her ex-husband, but on her own needs and interests (can you imagine!).
By Malene Birger Sweater – This slight nip in the waist and double breasted buttons makes this more than a sweater. She may be eyeing this brushed wool jacket in this elegant shiitake color from the same brand. Also worth noting - their CEO Ellen has a stunning home store.
Toteme Pants & Sock Boots – She was shopping here before we knew about it, of course, and reaches for these satin, wide leg pants and this utterly perfect low-heeled boot a few times a week. (Sidenote I have these boots in black but this gorgeous bark color haunts me. They’re comfortable enough to run around a city all day, and the slightly inverted arch of the heel is so elegant. They run true to size).
Lisa Yang Cashmere - Cable knit, brushed and ribbed. Our girl in Stockholm spends the long winters bundled in fine, soft textures, books piling up around her, a steaming cup of French breakfast tea refilled every hour in a wabi sabi crockery mug.
An ACNE Jacket – It is Stockholm, after all, the birth place of this creative studio cum fashion brand (ACNE stands for Ambition to Create Novel Expressions, a fact I discovered when I wrote a story for Departures on fashion brand monikers years and years ago). Hers is vintage and from the men’s section (she’s had it forever), but some options here and here.
Jil Sander Asymmetrical Black Skirt – For long, lingering dinners at Brasserie Aurora with her tribe of intellectual, brilliant women. The Kallmeyer trouser skirt and this midnight silk one are beautiful too.
Cecilie Bahnsen Evening Dress – Cecile Bahnsen is one of the rare designers doing something truly different in fashion, bringing couture like techniques, matelassé woven on a jacquard loom or the measured fray of fil coupé, into the every day. This dress is lovely and a bit less voluminous if you prefer that (and both on sale!). Oh and our girl in Stockholm would love this with this mohair wool wide leg trouser.
Drapey Chic Dries Van Noten Shirt Jacket - Tailored, but effortlessly so. A little edge with the safety pin (not too much!). The multiple holes for the pin let her be a little different when she feels like it.
On her neck and hands
She’s restrained in her baubles, of course, but can’t resist an Adina Reyter initial charm with the chunky rolo chain (16”, so it rests elegantly on the bottom of the clavicle) and an Erede jumbo signet ring.
On most days though, a simple Lie Studio silver ring will do, and Sophie Bille Brahe earrings are part of her uniform.
For moments when she wants to be dressed, a chunky Bottega drop for architecture. A Marie Lichtenberg evil eye when the calling for a higher power arises. And that JAR (that one, from her ex-husband) when she finds nostalgia. It’s a sweeter nostalgia now, tinged with appreciation and distance. At present, her days mean possibility, not resolve. She recalls the Jung quote: “who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes,” and thinks it odd she was asleep for so long.
On her table
Cabana’s Asli Tablecloth – For Sunday mornings, the kind filled with fresh tomatoes on the vine, soft boiled eggs in an egg cup and cardamom buns from Lillebrors Bageri, set out over this soft, feminine botanical print on a backdrop of ecru and pinky peach.
Christofle’s La Trousse – The other night, I was lucky enough to attend a dinner of 10 or so in the middle of Christofle’s new jewel box Beverly Hills boutique. We sat at an oval table dressed in Christofle’s signature sage green with mismatched place settings, surrounded by silver and crystal and of course, the famous Christofle eggs.
The dinner was to celebrate the boutique, but also La Trousse, their new offering of a single set of flatware housed in an Imperial Green pouch. The idea is that you can keep the set with you so you never have to use anything less than heirloom silver (the horror! Also, can you imagine me sitting in economy taking out my La Trousse to eat my Delta snack box?). But on the subject of new lives, I kept thinking this would be the perfect divorcee gift: a signal that you can still have beauty and tradition, even a bit of pomp and circumstance, without a second set of silverware. And so our girl in Stockholm will have her own La Trousse set of Marly silverware.
Pewter Dish from Svenskt Tenn - A classic housewarming gift from the Stockholm design mecca, given to her by a dear friend when she first moved into Ett Hem, and filled to the brim with salty smoked licorice from Kolsvart.
Fferrone Design Wine Glasses - Made by master glassblowers without the use of molds, these goblets are made of fluted borosilicate glass. So many things are created to be seen by others. But here, the intricacy of the design is on the inside of the glass, an ode to what lies within and perhaps never perceived by the outside realm.
On her bookshelf
Jung’s Memories, Dreams and Reflections, Miranda July’s All Fours (of course), a rare first edition of A Room of One’s Own, Man Ray’s Writings on Art and Nora Ephron’s Heartburn, which she also cooks from often.
Residences to Consider
Nothing beats the magic of Ett Hem, and its three sprawling brick buildings. There are multiple living rooms, gardens with fresh herbs and vegetables, an honor bar with fresh cheese and salty crackers and carafes of wine. The layout is intimate, the rooms full of warmth and stories. Even upon your first visit, you feel the sense of home: an utterly chic fantasy home but still, an air of familiarity, of being at peace.
But if you must leave Ett Hem, perhaps this or this will do?
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what a vibe
My favorite hotel in the world in Ett Hem. I can’t wait to go back.