the moms you will meet along the way
eight to desire, lifted from the park style of cool girls
I’ve had a few work trips recently where I’ve ended up bringing my three year old daughter, for various reasons but partially because I still get anxiety leaving her for more than a few days (aside: can anyone with older children tell me if that goes away at some point?). Which means that on my off days, I end up spending a lot of time at parks in different cities.
Park attire varies, but as a rule, the more vibrant the city, the cooler the park style. Anyone can put on an evening dress and look fabulous. Park style is more subtle. The story seems like it comes second, but in a way, you say a lot more. Park style is rooted in truth: where you’ve been, where you’re going and whether or not you plan to climb on the play structure or idle nearby on your phone (guess which one I pick?).
When your children graduate into playdate culture, a whole new social strata appears; a subtle mapping of friendships and acquaintances and working moms and non-working moms. As a byproduct of this, due to your children’s random preferences for friends, you’re often thrown together with a mom that you may not usually meet. Sometimes that’s a truly lovely thing. Other times, it’s torture.
There’s a quote from one of my favorite movies, Cameron Crowe’s rock n’ roll roman-a-clef Almost Famous, where the protagonist’s mentor, after hearing how he is alienated in middle school, tells him that he’ll encounter his classmates again on the “long journey to the middle.”
Now, hopefully we aren’t all on the same path to mediocrity, or if we are, it won’t feel like it when we get there, because we’ll have journaled and manifested and reframed enough that what we have is what we think we want. But the essence is still true. You meet a certain cast of characters because of your standing in life - where you live, your choice of school, your job - and 90% of the time, you’ll continue to circle each other in random, inevitable ways, ending up across the room from each other without meaning to. And in each of those instances, you have a choice: to engage or not, to keep it at pleasantries or attempt a step beyond. Some of those people will become very dear friends who see you through joy and trauma, and late drop offs and skinned knees and all the moments in between, and others will be a faint memory. And they’ll stay a memory, even when you encounter them in real life.
In the mom universe, the park is the great equalizer. Notorious, unknown, famous, whatever you are, you’ll find yourself, at some point, at a park. And who can forget the halcyon days of US Weekly, with full paparazzi spreads of park icons.
So, below…
EVERYDAY PARK ICONS, by city
For the purposes of this exercise, we’re ignoring non-aspirational park style, even though we’ve all had plenty of blurry-eyed mornings in leggings and baseball caps. (If you are going to wear a baseball cap, might I suggest this one?). Instead, we’re leaning into the park moms with intrigue and killer shoes, the ones we’d be friends with in another life.
NEW YORK
The Park: Thompson & Spring
There were two kinds of park moms I encountered in this slice of lower Manhattan.
The off duty model, with the air of a slight hangover. Not the ones I suffer through after a glass and a half of wine, but hungover in a way that made me envious, with the kind of tousled hair that says I had so much fun last night, what did you do?.
Then there’s the mom trying to do too much (hi, I’m the problem, it’s me!). Dressed for work, nanny in tow, juggling coffee and a phone as she tries to steal a precious hour at the park before the day begins.
LOS ANGELES
The Park: Little Holmby Park
There’s always a mom here on her way to a trunk show, dressed in casul, but articulated, luxury.
PARIS
The Park: Jardin du Luxembourg
In Paris, people watching in the park deserves its own spot on the itinerary. Despite the glitz that surrounds it, in reality, Paris is a relatively casual city. Women dress to walk, which means sneakers, loafers or ballet flats, and they’ve mastered the art of relaxed elegance, via the tailoring of a slouchy trouser or the trim of a mini dress… the tiny details that give an outfit desirability without the viewer understanding why it all flows with such ease.
MONTECITO
The Park: Manning Park
The moms here are usually accompanied by nannies and a hefty botox bill, which means they somehow look perpetually well-rested.
SAN FRANCISCO
The Park: Presidio Tunnel Tops
Yes, there’s a lot of fleece action happening, but I’ve noticed the Tunnel Tops also tend to be a melting pot of artists, tourists and the chic collector set that lives nearby. Limousine liberals maybe, but ones with impeccable style and the ability to mix prints with aplomb.
EIGHT TO DESIRE, inspired by the cool moms we meet along the way:
In the Summer Trenches
Dressing for work and summer is a bit of a hassle, in that you want breezy, feathery light pieces but you also want to look your age. I’m very into a lightweight summer trench for this purpose, especially if you’re brave enough to try one in a summer color, like mint (the burgundy collar grounds it for me) or pale pink.
Leather & Linen for Work (& Play)
Oversized, throw it all in bags are still our closest companion, but the heavy leather bags of winter could use a warm weather update, best done through materiality. Some options: Metier’s cognac leather and linen Private Eye (the size of this is fabulous, in that it doesn’t look or feel bulky, but somehow can fit a 15 inch laptop and still zip) and at an easier price point, DeMellier’s rafia version.
Paracord & Diamonds
I’m a longtime Dorsey fan, and of its warm, wonderful founder
, but this necklace might be my favorite yet. The casualness of the paracord paired with the elegance of diamonds is so summer: ease and formality wrapped up in one. It’s become part of my everyday uniform.Indie Movie Main Character Denim
OSSOU from Fforme’s Nina Khosla and Erede’s Talia Shuvalov launched yesterday, and it’s every bit as desirable as I expected. The designers use raw Japanese denim to create voluminous jackets, cinch waist shirts and, naturally, a perfect pair of pants.
from top left: white sheerish shirt, pink trench, earrings, headphones, work bag, wedge (maybe the only wedge I’m okay with), linen pants Crochet Stories
As with every trend, there’s a cheesy way to wear it and a non-cheesy way. As a concept, the crochet flat is ripe for an eye roll, but there are plenty of options that transcend, like these or these artisan made flats from Toteme (the black tie that weaves through the top into a little bow is so chic).
Khaki Comeback
A summer neutral that feels fresh again, especially in the form of a light, cropped jacket , maybe paired with a pop of red.
from top left: suede jacket, khaki top, sheer layered skirt, red bag, straw flats, ear buds, notebook Linen a Life
An easy linen look, to dress up or down. I lived in this one last summer (good alts here and here), elegant with a naked heel for dinner or low key with a sneaker for the playground. This dress (the buttons! the khaki!) feels like it may be my next iteration of a summer staple.
Nightgowns, for Day
First, Prada, now Phoebe. The slip dress (or skirt or short) is having its heyday, and we’re here for it, especially paired with a button down or funky sneaker to balance out the primness.
FROM THE ARCHIVES
does everyone secretly have a stylist?
A few years ago, I discovered that a number of my best-dressed friends, many with great taste and a healthy amount of discretionary income, had the subtle use of a stylist. It wasn’t shameful by any means, but it also wasn’t regularly talked about, a secret weapon that slipped into conversation from time to time.
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Having borne twins, I could never get past the Nili Lotan and baseball hat phase — even when in NYC. But as they are now 15, my style has reverted back and thrilled it includes this latest brilliance from Dorsey. I am in love with my paracord necklace!
Love that you included SF's Presidio Tunnel Tops! :)