soft power: satin slippers, fuzzy mohair, fur lined moccasins for an aesthete's hibernation
and the type A, extrovert's guide to the halcyon days of staying in
I’m not sure if it’s my extroversion or fear of unproductivity, but staying in night after night for weeks, as much as I desperately need and crave it, requires me to let go of something.
The practice of leaning into the inertia is, for some of us, its own effort.
Being out with friends or at a work event means laughter, connection and ideas, all of which are fuel. And the act of being busy - the constant toggle between family and work and friends and your spouse and back again - also means less time to mull it all over, a nice distraction from the actual work of weighing the past year and discerning what’s meant for you.
If we make hibernation as much an aesthetic choice as anything else, our subterfuge from a typically hurried life, we can see it as its own productivity. A retribution from the holidays, which are blissful and soul filling, but often times not always yours.
Yet, as soon as I step off the hamster wheel, it’s clear how necessary all of that work is. How we need rest to elucidate who we are underneath the flurry. A mentor of mine always says, “If you won’t learn the lesson, the universe will keep teaching it to you.” Leaning out of our masculine selves, which thrive on efficiency and forward momentum, gives way to something more poignant: a soft power, in the feminine sense; an internal equilibrium that doesn’t shift based on the day’s events.
The best type of January is the kind that revolves around hibernation. But for those of us who’ve been trained to see laziness as a cardinal sin (perhaps we all had immigrant parents?), hibernation may require a few guiding principles for us to settle in.
Hibernation Principles:
Make hibernation as much an aesthetic choice as anything else, our subterfuge from a typically hurried life, to see it as its own productivity. A retribution from the holidays, which are blissful and soul filling, but oftentimes not always yours.
Hibernation doesn’t need to be pilled sweats and the kind of Netflix marathons that leave you hazy and unsure of the time. Hibernation can be Danish (remember hygge?) or Fjaka (a Croatian term for the art of doing nothing). A frothy latte in a hand glazed mug and thick Comme Si socks.
Redefine productivity as anything soul filling. When we’re in a constant state of production, our creative selves thin (but good luck to Matthieu Blazy!). Inspiration isn’t linear, and we can forget how important it is to invest in wavering creative paths, where ideas materialize and simmer and maybe turn into something, or not.
A teetering pile of books (I’m currently reading The God of the Woods), a dishy fashion novella, an online class or a movie that makes you think, not just turn off… it can all spark something. A bit of education, even if futile at first, gives meaning to nights in.
From a sartorial sense, the thread here is texture. This is a January where everything feels soft to the touch: raw silk, a cushion of shearling, fuzzy mohair, all sorts of cashmere. The sensorial equivalent of a warm silken tofu soup that you sip… slowly. Perhaps at a ryokan whose wabi sabi-ness makes you fall back in love with your imperfect, evolving life.
I’m heading to Paris in late January to source for La Chute and Deco Off (let me know if you’ll be there!), but until then… respite.
So, let’s get hygge with it:
Scenario #1: Dinner at home with dear friends
On the menu:
‘s salmon skewers, an herby green salad and French Bloom champagne (a trick I use to gaslight myself into thinking I’m drinking)The hero piece: Toteme’s Satin Coat Dress. Wearing this, stirring a tart dijon dressing, with friends gathered in the kitchen is the kind of hostess I aspire to be. (Note: size down). More coats as dresses here.
Scenario #2: A night to yourself (a rarity!). Candles lit, fire burning, red light mask on (I like this one).
On the menu: A Martha Stewart classic that simmered all day in a cast iron Staub pot
The hero piece: A cashmere or silk pant, which can sneakily moonlight as a regular pant in case anyone pops by.
The genius about a silk pant is that it’s the rare piece that works for almost all levels of formality: as a silk pajama pant on the couch, as an elegant every day pant with a cozy sweater, as a cocktail pant with a glamorous heel or fancy flat. I highly recommend investing in one you absolutely love, and wearing it every day of the week.
If you can’t imagine a night in without leggings, these super soft Varley ones come in gorgeous quiet luxury colors (I have the taupe stone but the deep taupe is very pretty as well) that I like to pair with a tonal cream sweater.
If you, like me, have been contemplating The Row shearling moccasins but haven’t pulled the trigger, the impeccably dressed
loves these LL Bean ones.
Scenario #3: Mah Jong Night
On the menu: An over order of takeout, potentially spicy Thai noodles from Cholada (IYKYK) and copious bottles of Ghia Le Fizz (a genius concoction from
)The hero piece: Lisa Yang’s Cashmere T-Shirt. You all know my love for Lisa Yang’s sumptuous knits. I just bought a sweater with a color way aptly named Fern, a soft sage green color that is somehow joyful and muted at the same time. It’s long enough that I treat it like a tunic during the day, and then at night, it’s a cloud to wrap yourself in. The one pictured is the same style in Mole, which would look stunning over the chocolate brown Attersee satin cocktail pant or these majorly on sale Khaite satin trimmed wool pants.
Scenario #4: You’re forced to exit your home, in the evening. It’s a birthday. An anniversary. Whatever. Some occasion you can’t bow out of.
On the menu: Picking at the chop chop salad and peering out at the ocean at the new San Vicente Bungalows
The hero piece: A satin miniskirt, in a pajama-like fabric. Icy sky blue (try it with a burgundy turtleneck), the classic black, a sleek greyish purple.
Plus, the softest Prada cashmere bodysuit that makes you look snatched, but feel snuggled. If you can’t get your hands on the Chanel cruise moccasins, these Souer Bala flats deliver a similar armor: the measured chill of the coolest girl in the room, with warmth behind her eyes. And what’s more soft power than that?
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From the archive…
In other lives: fantasy worlds of the people we could have been
Just like a gorgeous new cashmere coat, stepping into a new city means possibility; of a new flavor pairing, an invitation to a raucous dinner party in an eccentric, well-appointed loft, an inspiration that lingers with you… molding into a career-defining creative endeavor.
objects of our affection: things we bought and cherished
A great purchase hits you twice. The first time: when you decide to buy it, intoxicated by possession… of the garment, yes, but also of who you are - fleetingly - in the moment you try it on.
Needed this post! Adore the sentiment and going to be taking all these comforting and yummy ideas into the new year with me! X
Love everything about this